Ideally speaking, courtship or dating is an avenue for two people who fancy each other and want to eventually end up married to come together and see how compatible they are before they take the next step, but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes, you find that some men hide under the pretext of courtship to deceive and exploit unsuspecting innocent women. They see a good woman, promise her forever, string her along for years, and then, eventually dump her when they are actually ready to get married; leaving the woman stranded, heartbroken and dejected.
So I feel that prolonged dating or courtship is overrated, and should be avoided by women who actually have plans of getting married sometime, in the near future, and these are my reasons…
1. MOST MEN KNOW WHERE YOU FIT IN THEIR LIFE PLANS FROM THE FIRST TIME THEY SEE YOU
The first impression always matters, this is no lie. When you meet someone for the first time, you almost certainly leave that meeting with an impression of them, so most men have an idea of the type of woman you are (good or bad, slutty or decent) and whether or not you’ll fit into their future marriage plans from the first time they spend time with you. Of course, the first time wouldn’t be enough for him to understand your whole person, but it’ll be enough for him to make an assessment of you. When you meet a decent person, you know in an instant, so when some men say they want to court a woman for as long as 2 years or more so they ‘know her very well’, I think it’s quite laughable, and nothing but an excuse to continue to string her along. No man needs to be with you for many years before he can tell whether or not you’re his kind of woman.
2. SOME MEN DON’T WANT MARRIAGE, THEY WANT SEX
I am a man, and I can authoritatively tell you this — more than half the population of men who get into a relationship do it solely for the sex, and not marriage or companionship as they tend to make most women believe. They know that some women are vulnerable and desire those things, they lie and give them the impression that they actually plan to get married to them in the near future, thus tying them down, and stringing them along for as long as they find them sexually valuable. This is how most women have missed out on opportunities that could have led to something more real with genuine men.
3. NO GUARANTEE YOU’LL REALLY UNDERSTAND YOURSELVES
Like I said in my introductory paragraph, the major purpose of dating and courtship is to learn and understand the type of person you plan on spending the rest of your life with, but then, you cannot dispute the fact that you may not be able to achieve that purpose successfully even if given 10 years, and the reason is simple; some people are very good at pretence. Some can hide their true personality away from you until after marriage, so you wouldn’t be able to tell what their flaws and inadequacies are during your dating period. I know cases of people who were ‘decent’ as bachelors, then they get married, and become wife beaters. So the whole purpose is actually defeated in the end because some of these marriages end in regret or grounds of incompatibility.
4. THE SUCCESS OF A MARRIAGE IS NOT A PRODUCT OF HOW LONG YOU DATE EACH OTHER
Finally, I want to state categorically that successful marriages aren’t built on a prolonged courtship or dating, it is instead a product of true love and how mentally mature both parties are for the experience called marriage. A man and woman who love each other very well, and know the importance of sacrifice in preserving a relationship do not need to court for years before they get married, because those are not values you learn together with another person, but by yourself.
Marriage is about learning to love the imperfections of the person you feel strongly drawn to. It goes beyond sex, it goes beyond making children, it goes beyond hanging out. It is about friendship and companionship; so ladies do not allow any man to turn you into a sex toy that he’ll eventually dispose off when he gets tired. Be wary of men who want to keep you in a relationship for very long without showing any evident signs of changing that soon because some of them have a different interest from yours.